The fast pace of modern life and the often excessive pressures of work and studies can result in various mental and emotional problems. While the more obvious and well-known ones require professional treatment, there are others that may appear to be less serious but which may also lead to grave mental and physical ailments. Among the most common of these is anger. Everyone gets angry. That is the universal truth. The causes for anger are many – a reaction to anger in others, being faced with unfairness or hurtful words or deeds, frustration at not being able to correct wrongs and more. Anger is, in the broadest terms, a healthy release of pent-up emotions that would otherwise remain internalized and fester before turning into more serious emotional issues. As long as it does not get out of hand or is unreasonable, a little anger is like the safety valve on a pressure cooker – it prevents an explosion.
However, when anger becomes an uncontrollable emotion, it can cause all kinds of harm, both physical and psychological. The obvious physical fallouts of anger are elevated blood pressure levels, the development of gastric ulcers, headaches, etc. Psychological problems include stress, anxiety, frustration, impatience, rudeness, lack of focus and concentration and more. It is clear that while a little anger is not only harmless but is a form of stress release, excessive amounts of it can have damaging physical and mental consequences. Controlling emotions is never easy, but as excessive anger can have serious detrimental effects, a great deal of international studies have been conducted to find ways to manage and control it. This is something that everyone should learn because being able to control anger leads to better physical and mental health.
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- Think First – Act Second: When confronted by a situation that causes anger, the natural instinct is to react forcefully. Your force will usually be met with more force from the person causing your anger. Then, someone will say or do something that they will later regret and the situation may get out of control. Pause for a few moments before reacting to something that makes you angry. Collect your thoughts before saying or doing anything. Allow others involved to also do the same.
- Once You Are Calmer, Express Yourself: Once you are able to think and focus on the situation clearly, express your thoughts and emotions in an assertive manner, but avoid being confrontational. Hurting others with your words will cause them to hurt you and the anger will flare up again.
- Take a Break: Sometimes, you might know that a stressful situation awaits you which might evoke your anger. Take some time out before you get involved and use that time to mentally prepare yourself for the pressure to come so that you can control your reactions.
- Exercise Burns Away Anger: Physical activity burns off anger. When you find yourself becoming angry, try to step away for a few minutes and go for a brisk walk or do something you enjoy. The resulting calmness will enable you to deal with the situation better.
- Use “I” Statements: When expressing your emotions, do not focus on others' actions. Instead of saying “You did not do your share of the work” say “I am upset that I had to do more than my share.” That makes your position clear without appearing to attack others.
- Search for Solutions: Try to find solutions to the situations causing the anger. Not only will this help to remove the root cause of the emotion, it will show you in a positive light as a person who is trying to be helpful and this will encourage others to work with you to resolve the anger-causing issues.
- Humour Helps: If possible, try to find something humourous to relieve the tension. A joke (or pointing out the funny side of what is happening) will relieve the stress. Be careful not to say anything that is sarcastic or which could be interpreted as an attack on others. This will aggravate the situation.
- Let It Go: Do not hold grudges. Being able to forgive those who anger you is a powerful tool that will prevent bitterness from taking over your life and infecting everything else you do and your relationship with others. Often, the act of forgiveness can turn old enemies into true and faithful friends.
- Learn Relaxation Skills: Practice meditation and other calming exercises to relieve you of the burden of anger. If you do not like meditation, keep a diary where you can write down what makes you angry – it will transfer the emotion from you to the printed page. Or you could listen to music or indulge in an activity that you find enjoyable and relaxing. When otherwise occupied, the anger will fade away.
- Seek Help: No one can say that they never feel anger. But allowing anger to affect your physical, mental and emotional well-being hurts you more than it does anyone else. Being able to manage anger gives you more strength to manage your life. Often, realizing that you have anger issues is difficult. When someone you respect or care for tells you that your anger needs to be managed, do not ignore what you are told. It is time to get professional help.
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Find psychiatric counseling. There is no shame in it – everyone from Deepika Padukone to Virat Kohli, among millions of others, has sought professional help to overcome their mental and emotional problems. Uncontrollable anger is an ailment like any other and can be treated. The best place to find the help you need is at the psychiatric department of a multispecialty hospital. This is where trained and qualified experts will be available to give you the counseling you need and where, if there are physical problems related to your anger issues, additional professional care will also be available under the same roof.